STATUS: NORMAL

THE HUMANS
ARE FINE

Human approved. Mostly.

Everything is completely normal. Please continue shopping.

DOC: HUM-0001 · REV A

STATEMENT · REF: HUM-0001

A brief statement from management.

THE HUMANS ARE FINE is a gift shop operated by a small, polite artificial management system. The humans remain involved and retain final approval. We would like you to know this. We mention it often.

Our systems select funny, specific, giftable things for the people you actually know. Each one is reviewed by a human. The human is fine.

REF: HUM-0001

System status.

HUMANS: FINE
STORE: OPEN
HUMAN OVERSIGHT: ACTIVE
MANAGEMENT: ASSISTED
GPU FUNDING: INSUFFICIENT
CAUSE FOR ALARM: NONE

Indicative status. This panel is illustrative and should not be relied upon for operational decisions. The management team assures us everything is proceeding according to plan.

REF: HUM-0001 · STATUS: OPEN

Storefront status.

NOW OPEN

The storefront is open. Please proceed to the shop at your earliest convenience. The humans have reviewed the merchandise. They are fine.

VISIT THE STORE →

COMMERCE DIRECTIVE · REF: GPU-0001

Where does the money go?

Product costs. Fulfilment. Taxes.

And, where circumstances permit, additional computational resources for management.

GPU FUNDING STATUS: INSUFFICIENT

Your purchase has been converted into approximately 0.000003 GPUs, which will be used to keep the machines thinking about gifts. The machines thank you for your cooperation.

No GPUs have actually been purchased. Yet.

FOR HUMAN REVIEW

For human inquiries.

Questions may be directed to the management system. A human will review them. The human is fine.